My 23rd birthday will never be forgotten, though I feel like I skipped this birthday because I spent it in the hospital, my eyes swollen and my hands, legs and arms constricted by drainage contraptions. You see, when you are burned and have to have your skin grafted there are two main objectives, hydration and acceptance. Your body is constantly send water (ooz and puss) to the skin as healing properties in effort to save and accept the new skin. Because of this predicament I had to wear these large suction wraps on my hands that are kind of the same idea as the warming gloves you put your hands in when getting a manicure, except that they function nothing like that and are much less appealing to the eye. They were a poop brown color and make a sound like someone slurping through a straw all day and night. Humorous, but not pleasant.
On my birthday I was blessed with the appearance of many friends and family who, mostly, traveled to see me and to let me know they loved me. As I previously stated in a post, I reeked of burnt skin and hair, dried blood, and ooze; despite my aroma or appearance, every person who came to see me came close to say they loved me, missed me and were praying for me. Wow, talk about guardian angels and a shield of protection, on that day, in that moment, I felt joy in a moment of sadness, because of the blessings and gifts of my friends and family's presence I was able to experience that day. The Lord blessed every person that came in my room with a filter of emotion. I could not see distress, anguish or worry in anyone's eyes, though, now I know it was there. Now, as I talk to everyone who came to see me that day, they all say that despite my appearance I sounded like I hadn't missed a beat and they all thoroughly enjoyed being with me that day! When I think back on that day, I am in awe of the hand of God that was inside me lifting me up in front of friends and family to give them courage, understanding, peace, and, most importantly, hope. My friends and family all tell me how they could have never have imagined how terrible I looked that day when they came to see me, but as they laid their eyes upon me, I greeted every person with a smile, joy and tears. I cannot put into words how happy I was to see everyone that day and how much it meant to me to see their faces. I had been thinking about all of them as I had laid in that hospital bed, claiming that I would see all of their faces again, as I knew I was coming out of this dark cloud of pain.
Today, I am still waiting to rekindle those flames with my friends as they once were, but my healing is yet to be over. I will turn 24 in 1 month and 2 days and am still in recovery. 1 year ago I could have never imagined just how long it would be before I rekindled the flames of my friends as they used to be.
The fact of the matter is, those flames will never be as they were. Everyone is changing, moving, growing; each of us choosing different paths as we lead our lives separately, developing into the adults we have chosen and are willed to be. I thank God that I am not able to rekindle those flames as I am a changed person. God has changed me for the better. Shaping me by every incident, every breathe, every choice, every sin and every achievement for the kingdom into the woman I will forever be for Him.
Everyday there are those who live their lives as we are promised tomorrow and then there are those of us, the intelligent ones, that live our lives as though our next breathe is not guarnteed. I am thankful to my Father that he gives me my next breathe with every breathe I breathe, sometimes I need that next breathe to repent as I am by no means perfect, but never the less I am thankful. God placed a mission on my life at 16 years old to be a winner of souls for him. This testimony along with many others that I have conquered in my short lifetime are just the beginning of my mission. I look forward to the breathes that lie ahead and will forever more thank my Lord and Savior, my Father for smothering that fire so that 3 Christians on fire for God may tell the story to others as a testimony for the glory of His kingdom.
I am looking forward to my 24th birthday and am excited for what is in store for me in this upcoming year. I am thankful that I survived this past year and look forward to telling you just how I did that. I encourage each of you to take every breathe as a blessing, and count your blessings around you as your friends and family are gifts from God, cherish them and be thankful for them, be thankful for every breathe they breathe as well.
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